


Midnight Musings

by Joanne_c



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22693216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joanne_c/pseuds/Joanne_c
Summary: Stiles watches Derek sleep.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 14
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Midnight Musings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DramamineOnTopOfMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramamineOnTopOfMe/gifts).



"It's not fair," I murmur, too low for you to hear me. You stir, but don't wake. Seems I tired you out, Derek. You're sated completely, and more beautiful to me in that state than in any other.

It's _not_ fair, you know. It's not fair that you can't see yourself as I see you. I wish you could. I wish you could know exactly what it is that you do to me.

God, I love watching you when you touch me. I mean, the feeling of your hands on me is an indescribable pleasure, but watching you is what gets me begging for you. What makes me want you and love you more than I ever thought possible.

Being with you is as necessary as breathing. I love the feel of your breath on me, when you're trying to arouse me. Not that it ever takes much, sometimes I feel like I'm in a constant state of wanting you, that there's never a time that I wouldn't stop everything I'm doing just to have you again. 

One of the things I love the most about you is your laughter. You don't laugh often enough, Derek, but when you're loving me, you seem able to let those barriers down, to laugh and smile. It drives me crazy, and you know it. I'm not afraid to let go with you, to show you what you do to me. It's never been like this before, so free, no inhibitions. To see that smile, hear the softness of your laughter, as you're slowly working your way over my body, breathing over sensitive spots, teasing me with your lips and tongue. It's beautiful, there is no other word for it.

You asked me once if I was sure, if I really wanted to be with you. I was hurt that you could think that I wanted anything else. But then I realized, you weren't sure that I wouldn't go off one day and find someone to marry, to have kids with or something. You didn't know then that I couldn't even think of anything but you. So I told you what I wanted. You were surprised when I suggested that if we ever both wanted kids that there were plenty of other options out there when the time came. But you were thinking of me, and I knew that. You never do think of yourself in that way. People would be surprised to know that. You put others first so much of the time. But you keep it hidden, as if it would damage your image. I don't know, maybe it would. And there's a part of me that likes being one of the few people who knows that about you. I know that a big part of it is that you haven't ever had anyone really love you who stuck around, and that makes you so vulnerable that sometimes I have to be careful about what I say and do, in case it scares you too much. I want to let you know how deep my feelings for you are. I know you know that they're real, that I'm not going anywhere, but you aren't ready for it all yet. I can't show you all of it yet.

I hope one day that I can truly show you how I feel about you, Derek. The words I say, the feelings I can show you, they have to be enough, but sometimes I wonder if they are, if they really do show you how I feel about you.

How I feel when you kiss me. When your hands explore my body. When you sink into me and take me to heights I never knew were possible. Even though I reciprocate, I never think I can get you to the same places that you take me.

I lie here, in the early morning light, watching you sleep, wishing I could convey this to you.

I hear you murmuring, talking in your sleep.

"Stiles. Please. Need you. Love you. Don't ever leave."

And it's enough. You know how much I love you, how much I need you. It's the same way that you love me and need me.

I'm able to let myself find sleep now, finding my way into your arms, feeling them wrap around me protectively.

Even though you can't hear it, I have to say the words.

"I love you, Derek," I murmur sleepily, before oblivion claims me.


End file.
